the next time i come back to livejournal will be when i finally know enough html to actually edit livejournal templates. until then, i have moved to here.

i'm going to miss the user icons. sigh.

ahh i'm going crazy over livejournal's horrible template editing system. it's primitive and completely un-user-friendly. and it doesn't allow for javascripts! okay, so maybe it's because i only know very basic html editing and all. in any case, once i finish up editing the skin i will probably move back to blogger or something.

... i'm going to miss being able to have a user icon for each entry. and the lj-cut function. and the leaving of comments, which is way more fun than simly tagging.

maybe i can replicate some of that in blogger hmm...

okay sorry for the techno-rant. i just want to have a pretty skin up and ready before i leave for taiwan in 3 more days.

had a very enjoyable day with the pooks today. we had food, and kbox, and tennis and swimming for the rest while i read a book because my dad believes all lifeguards are slackers and i will drown without his supervision. but it was still fun anyhow. and we had a nice, nice dinner at the hawker centre above shop & save near my house. life's pretty fun if everyday is something like this. good food and good company and good things to do make me happy.

anyhow, this is from boonwei.

Virgos born on September 18 have great self-control and use their energies for valuable achievement. September 18 people are serious and mysterious and go about their lives with quiet precision. They only trust those closest to them and may discreetly promote themselves as enigmatic, even eccentric.

Virgo Information for September 18 You should embrace: Emotional equilibrium, a love of nature, laughter You should avoid: Passivity, deception, secrecy

Friends and Lovers

Although they may seem emotionally cold, September 18 men and women are shy. They prefer to keep their own counsel, yet when they discover someone they can trust, they're grateful. In love, they can appear illusive and glamorous. This is a way to hold something of themselves in reserve until they find the perfect person.

Children and Family

September 18 people often experience disappointment in youth, which springs from strained family relationships. They are sometimes tentative about becoming parents, fearful that they will repeat the same mistakes. If they do have children, they try to give extra affection.

Health

September 18 natives are nearly fanatical about their health and fitness. They tend to follow a very strict routine that includes aerobic exercise and sensible eating. People born on this day have nervous energy that needs to be channeled positively. A hobby that is both enjoyable and relaxing can help them.

Career and Finances

People born on September 18 are happiest when they can do their work in private, without interference of a supervisor. They have a strong work ethic and good work habits. Although they may have problems with the big financial picture, they have very careful habits that can lead to financial security early.

Dreams and Goals

People born on September 18 usually have academic goals that blossom into career plans. They know how to budget their time and how to put their intellectual and spiritual resources into getting what they want.

"academic goals that blossom into career paths" huh... i should really just block out all thoughts about studying and what i should do for the next few years because i honestly haven't got a clue.

sometimes i wonder why i'm staking so much on things i really shouldn't place so much importance on. it happens for everything -- even for the people around me or the decisions i make. little things like expecting too much out of people who really don't see me the same way i see them, or making a big deal out of something frivolous which i really shouldn't be bothered about at all. i care too much about the things i should not care for, and care too little for the things i should be paying attention to.

sigh.

times like now make me feel like i'm teetering on the edge of a precipice or something; one wrong step ahead and i could fall so deep i would never get back up again.

my neighbour has this very pretty, sparkly christmas tree put up in her living room so you can see the tree when you walk past her house. and it's placed such that it's perfectly framed by the white window frames, so it looks like a scene cut out from a hallmark christmas card. it's very pretty. i wish we could put up a christmas tree too. i think the last time we were in singapore during christmas and had a tree up was when i was in primary school or something. okay i will sneak a picture or something soon. i say "sneak", because somehow it doesn't feel very right or polite to strut up to her doorstep and boldly take a picture. haha.

okay i will go off and sleep in an attempt to rid myself of my start-yawning-the-minute-i-step-out-of-the-house habit i've been unwillingly cultivating these few days.

if i imagine things a little...

even if my parents do finance my silly desire to study in japan, i have to spend one year in a prepatory school learning japanese and other subjects like history and geography. sort of like an all-round course in japanese.
even if i do manage to get by that one year, i will have to take the EJU which is some entrance examination for international students. and for business administration courses, i have to take EJU exams for japanese, japan and the world and math. and i was so happy when math ended because i thought it meant no more math for the rest of my life. my chances of passing this EJU are bleak bleak bleak.
even if i do manage to pass the EJU, there's an "applicant screening process" and an interview to get through before i get a place in the university.
even if i do get a place in a university, i have to get through four years of studying whatever course i decide to take.

...

as if things aren't hard enough in singapore already.

so i put looking for information on studying in japan on hold, and went off to look for information on courses in local universities. and i kind of realised i really have no clue what i want to do still...

is it more painful to struggle to get what you want because it is so far off from where you are, or is it more painful not knowing what you want to struggle for? sometimes i wish time would stand still here and now, because going back is too painful and i'm too fearful to go forward...

and it's horribly cold today.

happy birthday, weird preserved head. not that you'd see this anyway, so i guess i'm free to insult you as much as i want here. or not, because it'd really just be a waste of time. okay happy birthday then. ^^

everyone is out partying and all and hardly anyone updates their blogs anymore. i'm just about the only person who still blogs so regularly, and that's only because while i'm blogging i'm waiting for the episodes of rainbow romance to load. i've combed about six different shops to date in my search for a vcd/dvd version of the series but NONE of the shops have it in stock, so i've to resort to waiting for tudou to load the episodes slowly and painfully.

my to-watch list is long and seemingly endless now. there are the six horror films from wj i have yet to watch, and the parfum film bw burned for me, and maou which i have to watch a second time round, and then there's rainbow romance, and chunja happy event, and (if i can find them) recordings of the stage plays ikuta toma's been in. i'm not just being a fangirl here, really. the plays are actually interesting! and and, if i manage to find a good-paying job i will go comb the esplanade listings for a nice musical/play/concert to go to because i feel in the mood for one.

if only i had a million dollars to spend...

oh well.

i hope taiwan will be cold and nice and full of good things to eat and buy.

-edit-

if anyone was wondering why i'm so obsessed over rainbow romance, this should be good enough reason why.


that is just about the sweetest thing anyone could do...

okay, so maybe the fact that it's kibum doing it makes that much of a difference. i could imagine ikuta toma doing it too though. ahh alright too much fangirling.

-edit-

too tired to blog much. there was this art installation piece we saw in the walkway to esplanade, and 2 of the frames were really intriguing. i'm not sure if it's exactly illegal to take photos of it (you know how in museums they always have the no photos signs and all) but i still did anyway.



in case you can't read it, the first one says "to brace her for it i take her hand, this much i give to her. but my hand is cold." and the second one reads "after all i'm her knight." i'm not sure if the meaning of it comes across since it's taken out of context and all, but it's really cool anyway. if you happen to be in the area you can pop by and take a look i guess.

okay, i'm off to sleep. days so far have been a flurry of going out eating coming home and watching rainbow romance. it's a routine i'm rather happy with anyhow.

-edit-

i realise, in my annoyance at not being able to figure out lj templates, i kind of deleted several comments for the previous entries. sorry guys, if they were the ones you'd tagged! i think they were the comments for the entry with all the prom pictures, where ryan asked about my missing him out in the photos and yimean's thanking me for the photos. and i think km tagged too! i'm becoming old and absent-minded already.

-edit-

i am so annoyed with lj's templates because i can't figure them out, and i've half a mind to switch back to blogger because it's so much easier there! but i really like lj's display pics and stuff and all... ahh. i will struggle a while more with lj templates and see if i can figure them out.

-edit-

okay, i can't be bothered to do up a template from scratch because lj templates are really, really complicated. i think this one is pretty cute anyway. now, if only i could separate the user icons from the text because now all the second paragraphs are pushed to the left...

-edit-

sorry for the late photos, if anyone's been waiting for them. i've been so tired the last few days from staying up late for l4d/fable 2 and the post-prom sleepover and all. alright, less talk more pictures yes?



the girls minus max, wynne and angel because they weren't here yet. from left: sam, me, rab, rach, yimean, wt, ale and xuefang. for once in class history, we didn't all turn up in shades of black and white.



the guys minus... okay minus quite a lot because they were either scattered about the place or hadn't arrived yet. from left: chin, bff amos, francis, km and charles.



from left: rab, sam, me and wynne. i'm sorry it's so blur, i blame my camera! i should have switched on flash earlier. okay never mind, grabbed this photo from sam's blog. it's much clearer here.



bff amos and i! we both happened to be wearing white that night. haha.



the class with mr hsu, our wonderful gp teacher! he's seated in the centre. and it's a blur photo again, sorry sorry!



yimean, ale and km the jealous boyfriend. haha.



rach, yimean and me.



ah, finally, all the guys minus ryan and daryl and karan. take a good look at their full heads of hair, because come next year most of them won't have hair anymore. except for francis of course haha. top row from left: tommy, aston, peiyen, charles, amos, km, chin, and chris. francis is the one kneeling in the centre. seeing the guys all suited up was very cool. ^^



from left: amos, francis and km.



wt and yimean.



boonwei and i. haha boonwei your dyed hair looks nice!



chris and i! and it's a blurred photo again. i really need to do something about my camera...



my lovely, wonderful pw group. from left: amos, chin, wynne, me and km. haha you guys made pw and tj life so much more bearable. i don't know what these 2 years would have been like without you guys. (:



all the girls. top row from left: rab, rach, angel, max, xuefang, sam, yimean and ale. wynne and i are kneeling in the bottom row. everyone looked so pretty that night. haha and max and ale looked like real celebrities for some reason. i'm serious! while we were eating i was telling that to yimean and she agreed with me. and the girls all had very pretty dresses and in yimean's case a very cool-looking butler-y outfit. plus a cool hat.



the whole class of 22/07. top row from left: ale, rach, xuefang, max, yimean, angel, rab, charles, chin, amos, tommy and km. bottom row from left: wynne, me, sam, peiyen, chris, francis. oh wait, people are missing. aston has left in his usual fashion (vanishing without a trace) and karan isn't here... and ryan and daryl who weren't here.



mr hsu and yimean. you would see mr hsu's pained look if it wasn't for my blurry camera. haha. and then there's yimean and ale sneaking in a photo together while km is presumable busy elsewhere.



that's karan and me, and then that's wt trying on yimean's hat.



wynne and i and then rab and i. i cannot imagine what the past two years would have been like without them. wynne the wonderful friend with whom i got past pw days with, and then all the lit classes and all. you are very much cherished as a friend haha. and rab, even though i always say i hate you, for the record, i really don't. just in case you didn't know that already. ^^



angel and i and then max and i. both of them looked very celebrity-ish that night! haha.

( for yimean, all the kuro-ish pictures. )

ah that took a long time. prom was a fun end to our 2 years as a class wasn't it?

and, i'm really sorry. i never realised my selfishness would affect anyone else... i'm sorry the night wasn't as fun for you guys because of my being so self-centred and only caring about how i would feel...

prom showed us so much, didn't it...

some things really never do change, like how at every 2C outing we still split up into guys and girls. maybe it's just because we're all still stuck with some lower secondary kind of mentality or something. it's pretty amusing anyhow. haha it was a fun outing anyway! got to see many people i hadn't met for a very very long time, and ivy updated us all on uhh... stuff. it's amazing how much she knows! she would do very well as a spy.

and it was a very special outing because for once we managed to persuade everyone to watch a horror flick heh heh. except it wasn't really horror in my opinion because i got too annoyed with the female lead in quarantine who did nothing for half the movie but scream and hyperventilate loudly. mmm. and then we went for some ice cream in the hopes that when we sat down we would actually get a chance to start talking, but it was the guys-girls thing as usual. haha i seriously think it's just a 2C thing.





let's have another one when wilson comes back, shall we? next time we can go some place like minds' cafe or something. haha.

anyhow, got to organise a pooks outing at minds' cafe. haha let's all play taboo again! and i've got to figure out what it is i have on the 8th. i just have this nagging feeling i'm not free that day, but i can't recall what it is i have on exactly.

okay, off to sleep so i can stay awake for l4d after prom tmr. or today, really.

i hate hate hate it when i quarrel with people, but i seem to possess an uncanny knack for doing so. even if i know whatever i'm about to say/do will anger the person i go ahead and do it anyway, and then i regret it horribly later on. and i never know how to salvage the situation, so most of the time it's always the other person who forgets all my meanness and talks to me again.

i hope things blow over soon.

okay, 2 days to prom and a lot of stuff to get ready. people who weren't in the mass convo earlier and who are coming for the post-prom stayover at my house, we talked about the following -- those who want to club (i think this includes amos, francis, chin... speak to them about it.) will go clubbing first, and those who don't can come home with me first where we'll change and wash up and stuff before we can xbox/mahjong/watch some movie/have supper/karaoke (some karaoke thing opened outside my house, don't know when it opens till though.)/any other random activity we think up. after the clubbers are done they'll come join us. and we'll do random stuff again.

before prom i shall go get my hair done in the morn, come home and dress up and stuff before meeting the rest at 4.30pm. i get this horrible feeling that it will all be a very mad rush.

alright. i will go off to bed before i get dark rings around my eyes from sleeping so late every night.

time to strike stuff off my to-blog-about list.

1) Birthday gift from mingshuan



i still can't figure out what animal it's supposed to be, but i think it's still cute anyway! haha. and it's superbly huggable. therefore it's a very welcome addition to my collection of uhh-i-think-i-lost-count plush animals on my bed. i am soon going to run out of space to actually sleep on my bed now. and there's the super pink part of the present she never fails to give me every year, even though she knows perfectly well pink's not exactly my favourite colour. but it's okay because it's mingshuan, and she's a wonderfully pink bff. and there's the very exquisitely pretty butterfly necklace which i think i'm going to use for prom, if i decide to use a necklace. plus there's a long long letter which i refuse to take pictures of because there are uhh... explicit and inaccurate details in there!! haha.

thanks so much for giving me a wonderful present again this year mingshuan! haha. now that we're both free and liyun's cast will be removed soon we have to go out more often because we've really seen too little of each other these 2 years even with all the tuition. and the promises to go take up japanese again that we've yet to fulfill. thanks for being a wonderful friend all these 6 years that we've known each other. you very much deserve the title of bff. ^^

2) & 5) Mum's and Dad's birthdays



my mum's chocolate fudge cake was really really good. didn't manage to get a picture of my dad's cake though; i think we all devoured it too fast. there's dalphie trying to get in on the action and attempting to steal some food in the process, and there's dalphie moping after his failed attempts to do so. and oh look, i did manage to get a picture of my dad's cake after all! haha my mum and my dad are wonderful parents even though there still are times we all can't stand each other. i really should be nicer to them and not make them annoyed so much. there's the really giant book of sudoku puzzles we got for my mum because she's a big fan of sudoku puzzles. and she finishes them awfully fast, even the fiendish ones. and she did finish the mensa-level sudoku puzzles we got for her birthday the last time round... okay she's just really good at sudoku.

alright, i'm really only online because the batteries for the xbox controllers ran out and i can't play anymore. i'm off to get some more batteries and then i'll get right back to fable 2 and l4d. and after that i'll finally get around to finishing gta4 and sid meier's civilisation revolution. mmm so much to do in the days ahead!

okay, will try and make a new lj template, finish watching the 7 horror flicks wj burned (heh heh thanks so much again!!), get 2c outing pictures from mingshuan and blog abut the outing, settle prom stuff, confirm post-prom L4D CAMP (this is going to be so much fun), get around to cleaning up the rest of my room... okay listing this out makes me feel exhuasted already. and i still have 6) and 7) on my to-blog-about-list to blog about. ahh why is there still so much to do even after the As have ended??

and and, i miss yimean and rachel and max and ale and angel who i haven't seen in days and days and days ever since physics. guess we'll only see each other at prom! bahhhhhhh.

i think i'm still in a state of disbelief. there's this tiny part of me that's like, "wait, it's over?" and refuses to accept the fact that the As really have ended. it felt so strange the first few minutes after the lit paper ended yesterday. and right after that i went home and cleared out the horrible mess that's been on my table and shelves for months now. i've basically thrown out everything except for stuff i'll need if i'm forced to, please-don't-let-this-happen, retake the papers. now my table's all clean and my shelves are nicely packed! don't you think there's just this certain satisfaction to having everything in order?

anyhow, i'll blog about stuff on the to-blog-list a little later, since my younger sister stole my camera and hasn't returned it yet, the horrible thing.

oh and honestly, the goldin universe thing that lots of people have done is really scarily accurate. i did it 4 days before the lit paper; look at the third paragraph.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: Michelle
Date: 11/20/2008
Colorgenics Number: 20167354

---

 

You are trying to establish yourself and make an impact despite the fact that everything around you seems to be against you - putting up barriers, but don't be unduly concerned: you have the right ideas and come what may, they will soon be manifested and appreciated.

You are lazy - you dream of a peaceful, calm, uncluttered and uncomplicated life. Your ideal would be to share a permanent base with some person or persons who would be able to demonstrate on-going love, peace and security.

Circumstances are holding you back, forcing you to back off and to forgo all the pleasures, fun and games for the time being. But this is only a temporary situation and before you even know it the situation could change.

For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You are loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.

You are presently worried about your future and you feel that whatever you do will go wrong. At this time you are your own worst enemy. All the disappointment that you have experienced, coupled with the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals, have led to anxiety. You would like recognition and a position of trust but you are concerned that these hopes and dreams may not be realised. You are very argumentative and insistent that you are right - maybe you are - but you are pushing too hard. Take it easy, let go, and smile. Smiling and agreeing with people works wonders - try it and see.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

( don't read this if you don't want to be burdened with my problems. no, it's not the reverse psychology kind of thing. seriously, don't read it. and if you do, don't talk to me about it. )

i was watching some random show earlier about this really bossy girlfriend -- the kind who bosses her boyfriend around and makes him get stuff for her and carry things for her. i don't know if it's just me, but i find that rather annoying. if you're struggling with a lot of things then it makes sense to get someone to help you, but it you're empty-handed after you force all your stuff onto your friend/boyfriend isn't that just a horrible thing to do? and about the ordering him about to get stuff for you, if he offers to then it's alright i suppose, but ordering him to go do it is mean isn't it? but i suppose the most demanding of girlfriends aren't the ones who boss you around all the time, or the ones who insist you tell her you love her 5 times a day or something, they're the ones who, cliched as it sounds, really want to know they're special to you and all. that takes more than just saying lots and lots of i-love-yous, because said many times it just becomes meaningless doesn't it. okay never mind all that the effects of studying too much have taken its toll as you can plainly see.

alright, lots and lots of things to do now that we're all liberated and free. i'm off to strike things off my to-do-after-As-list! gee i really have many lists don't i.

 

remind me never, ever to do something as silly as study poe late at night.

then again, in 4 more days, i probably never will have to again.

mmm there's this overpowering need to study poe again before it reaches 12am when it gets too spooky (i tell you that guy really freaks me out more than horror movies), so i won't be replying comments yet. in 4 more days!

everytime i get back important results, i've this habit of calling my mum and pretending to sound sad so she'll think i didn't do too well. and she falls for it everytime, but that's besides the point. i'm just thinking maybe this time round i won't have to pretend at all...

anyway, 9 papers down and 2 more to go, with lots of days in between so i can either study really hard or slack off and do random stuff. i think i'll do more of the latter really, considering how i haven't touched pen or paper for the past 2 days ever since econs.

ah, and i can't even blog about stuff on my to-blog list! my sister has borrowed my camera for her prom so i can't upload any pictures. guess it'll have to wait till a while more. i can do boonwei's meme though. i love memes, they're so much fun to do.

1 ) The last person who tagged you is :
Boonwei

2 ) Your relationship with him / her is :
i think he's one of the most wonderful friends i have.

3 ) Your impressions on him / her is :
POOKTASTIC! hahaha. i'm so sorry i forgot the name huiyi came up with for you. okay, i think he's a very good friend. he's always encouraging, and he's got this strange ability to know when something is wrong with anyone. also he's never let me down before, and he's very, very reliable. and he's a fanboy. ^^

4 ) The most memorable thing he / she had done for you :
he burned the hana kimi special onto a dvd for me. haha okay no, this isn't the most memorable thing you've done for me. i guess there're too many to list! maybe it's that fact that he's given me so many handmade presents over the years.

5 ) The most memorable thing he / she said to you :
gets! boonwei will understand this. haha.

6 ) If he / she becomes your lover you will :
get beaten up really badly.

7 ) If he / she becomes your lover, one thing he / she has to improve on will be :
ahem. xbox skills. why don't you play anymore boonwei!! you were so close to being converted.

8 ) if he / she becomes your enemy, the reason will be :
because he burned something i really wanted onto a dvd for me but password-protected it.

9 ) The most desired thing you wanna do for him / her now is :
cancel his trip to taiwan, so we can all go out more after the exams. but nah, it's a family trip and should be treasured.

10 ) Your overall impression on him / her is :
read the answer to qn 3!

11 ) How you think people around you feel about you :
i don't really know actually. according to huiyi and moses they can't hear me anyway!

12 ) The character you love about yourself is :
i never have answers to these kind of questions. i don't know actually!

13 ) On the contrary , the character you hate about yourself is:
i'm indecisive, and i dream too much for my own good, ... i could go on forever.

14 ) The most ideal person you want to be is :
another one of those questions i never have an answer to.

15 ) pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you :
since boonwei already tagged all the uhhh... pooks, i'll tag the class people i guess.
1. wynne
2. sam
3. rab
4. chin
5. km
6. amos
7. angel
8. yimean
9. ale
10. ahhh i need more friends who have blogs! okay, since i can't think of anymore, i'll just drag uhh... ichigo into this.

16 ) who is no.6 having a relationship with?
amos. his girlfriend's called elise, and she's very pretty!

17) is no.9 a male or a female?
ale. female.

18 ) if no.7 and no.10 are together , will it be a good thing?
angel and ichigo. angel, you'll get lynched by yimean and i. not a good idea. hahaha.

19 ) how about no.8 and 5 ?
yimean and km. yimean would get beaten up. haha not a good thing!

20 ) what is no.2 studying about?
sam. history, math, econs, phy.

21 ) when was the last time you had a chat with no.3?
rab. the day of the econs paper, when she said hi to me and then pretended to look away.

22 ) what music band does no.8 like?
yimean. hmm. i think she listens to quite a lot! i'd randomly guess that she likes most of the bleach songs.

23 ) Does no.1 have any siblings?
wynne. a younger sister.

24 ) will you woo no.3?
rab. can't, i'd get beaten up.

25 ) how bout no.7?
angel. nope, i'm straight. if i were a guy i might though, since i think she's a very good baker!

27 ) whats the surname of no.5?
km. i'm pretty sure it's liew.

28 ) whats the hobby of no.4?
chin. composing very emo poems. oh and he likes randomly slashing things, and shooting stuff, and robbing banks. and eating. definitely eating.

29 ) do no.5 and 9 get along?
km and ale. i don't think i need to say anything else!

30 ) where is no.2 studying at?
sam. anywhere but home, i don't think she likes studying at home.

31 ) say something casually about no.1?
wynne. she's very pretty, eats alot, and runs alot!

32 ) have you tried to develop feelings for no.8?
yimean. nope nope, we're love rivals actually, aren't we?

33 ) where does no.9 live at?
ale. hmm, about 5 minutes from my house!

34 ) what colour does no.4 like?
chin. i don't know actually! i'd think... black?

35 ) are no.1 and 5 best friends?
wynne and km. haha i think they're quite good friends. pw bonds last, don't they?

36 ) does no.7 like no.2?
angel and sam. hmm, nope, as far as i know, both are straight.

37 ) how do you get to know no.2?
sam. apparently we went studying together once with rab and i somehow ended up being her stalker. haha.

38 ) does no.1 have any pets?
wynne. nope i don't think so.

39 ) is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
angel. i'm really sorry angel, i think you are, but the top spot's reserved for coughedisonchencough.

alright, all done! i'm in such a meme mood today, i'm going to do more. haha okay i'll put this one under ljcut so you don't have to scroll all the way down to skip it.

 

( meme from angel )

 

yay, really long post. even though it's all meme actually. i can't wait to get started on everything i promised myself i'd do after the exams.

I'm technically not supposed to be on here.

List of things I will blog about once we're all out of the tunnel:
1) Birthday gift from Mingshuan
2) Dad's birthday
3) How bad the A Levels are and why everyone should really boycott them i think we all know how bad it is already.
4) Boonwei's most recent meme that he's tagged me for
5) Mum's birthday
6) People on my to-shoot-list and why they're on it
7) Why my to-shoot-list is actually empty

(Number 6 and 7 kind of count as a wrapping up of these 2 years i guess.)
...

This list might expand to include more stuff soon.

I feel so cooped up and out of touch with every single person who's been in my life for the past 2 years. This will change after the 24th.

this was supposed to be a check-my-portfolio-and-get-off-the-computer-immediately-so-i-can-get-back-to-work thing, which sadly degenerated into a okay-blogging-won't-take-that-long-will-it kind of session.

for the first time in a while, i really want to get back to work. like what angel said today, math is actually kind of addictive. the more questions you do, the better you feel and so the more you want to do! i don't feel like going to school tomorrow, but there's gp and i've already done about half the paper we were set to do anyway. okay i shall just see how it goes tomorrow morning.

i'm reading tom holt again, who is as funny as terry pratchett but not as convoluted. okay, maybe all i'm supposed to be reading now are my notes and my lit texts, but i just couldn't resist borrowing it when i saw it the other day. it's a conspiracy, i tell you, two days in a row i've innocently walked past the recommended books shelf and seen books just begging to be borrowed.

oh and i made a complete fool of myself yesterday. after econs, i was saying bye to wynne at the lt steps and when i turned i think i missed a step or something and slipped and fell. i think i pretty much sprained my ankle, because it's now twice the size of my other ankle, but strangely enough it doesn't really hurt anymore. random passers-by and wynne and chris (who was walking behind us initially) were helping me up and all so it felt rather embarassing. i'm such a klutz at stuff sometimes. like in secondary school, i couldn't get past a day without tripping over something (usually my own feet) at least once. i will pay attention to where i put my feet next time. pfffffft.

oh, very long overdue photos from huiling's blog from the time we went to clarke quay and did strange stuff the entire night. huiling's like our official photographer haha; we don't get photos from outings if huiling isn't around. now my blog's got another function as a photo album thing. (:



i like the second picture; it's like we're all caught up in a world of our own. and the neon lightings behind kind of gives the picture a... um. pretty feel? okay i am severely lacking in vocabulary, i know. group photo is one of the very few that we have. we should have more group photos. (: and the shoes we were wearing that night! mine, then dawn's, then huiling's. they all had ribbon-y things on them although you can't see dawn's against her black shoes.

if outings after the a levels are all going to leave such pretty memories i really am looking forward to all of them.

alright. i'm off to study again.

ming shuan gave me a really pretty necklace and a toy that honestly begs to be hugged. and a very long letter and some pictures! now i feel bad for only writing so little for her present. but thank you! the present was wonderful. (:

and i now have a grand total of 17 toys on my bed! shall post up pictures soon.

prelim results are killing me slowly. honestly, despite all that i tell others to make them feel better by dismissing prelims as nothing much, it's still a horrible feeling knowing that everyone else is getting their As and Bs and you're going nowhere at all. now i just can't help but feel we've (or at least i've) got such an insurmountable task in front of us to get over, and i feel like i'm not going to make it.

this will get me nowhere either. like kheng feung says, all we should do now is study normally and make the best out of what little time we have left.

...you know, the thing about the couples in class is sad because all the people involved get sucked into their own little world whether they acknowledge it or not. except wynne and chin i guess, because they're with people from other classes so it isn't that bad most of the time, and for some reason i always feel comfortable around weiting anyway. but no matter what it will always feel sort of awkward being around them, like you're intruding or something. therefore i shall stick around other people.

this morning, before i left my house, i promised myself i wouldn't think other people didn't have the right to feel upset if they did pretty well already anyway. i thought if they'd already done so much better than everyone else they really shouldn't be feeling upset, because it's almost like a slap-in-the-face for others who didn't do so well.

i don't know, i guess sometimes even if you do reasonably well but still below your expectations then you have every right to feel upset about it. but sometimes i just can't help thinking that it's not very appropriate to do so.

then again, it's probably just a case of sour grapes and i'm probably guilty of it myself, so never mind all that.

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so we got back marks for math, lit paper 1 p&p and physics paper 2. i don't know, i guess i was hoping for better marks for math (see, here i go being a hypocrite again) because i'd spent most time on math this time around. but i'm happy i improved, even though it was only a really slight improvement. shall tell kheng feung about it on sunday; finally there's something to show for all his efforts at tuitioning me for the past 4 years. it isn't much, but it'll do for now.

lit was better than i'd expected though. i'd thought i'd do rather badly for the context question, because i felt like i'd done it the same way i had for the jcts (in which i got 8 because i hadn't dealt with the passage at all and stuff), but in the end i got a 14. it was quite a pleasant surprise. i'm just hoping all the rest of my lit essays were done alright too.

and physics. i guess getting my physics paper back was the high point of my day or something. it's the first time i've passed in a major exam i think! okay, so it's really just for 1 paper out of 3, and there's still paper 3 (which was chock-full of topics i'd only touched on) and paper 1 (which i really hadn't bothered to study for and couldn't be bothered to do seriously for the last half hour) to wait for. but it's an improvement, and i'm happy for that too.

anyhow, it's just the prelims. there's still the alevels we should be working hard for. back to being industrious, hardworking nerds then.

oh, sam was telling me today about this japanese author karan met, who's stranded in singapore after the publishers from germany failed to meet up with him here as arranged. his visa is going to expire on friday, and he's desperately in need of about $350 to get an air ticket back to japan. he doesn't have relatives who can wire him money (only a distant uncle he's not able to get money from or something) and he doesn't dare approach the embassy here because he was embroiled in some incident earlier on where a guy he'd approached to sell his book to called the police on him, and he's afraid something like that will happen again.

i guess part of me wants to believe and does believe what the guy says is true, but i can't help thinking it might be a ruse after all. i'll bring some money anyhow, since i've got some birthday money left over from what my parents gave me. i still think it'll be best to contact the embassy and let them handle it though. he's really in a rather sad state if what he says is true. anyone else want to help out?

and i think i should stop talking so much. mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

so, i'm officially 18 now. guess what's the first thing i did when the clock struck 12!

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i was watching the second hour of some b-grade horror flick called "dead silence"! and why is it only the second hour? because i spent the last hour of my being 17 watching the first hour of the show!

okay, i'm sorry, i'm apparently still very high from the presents. anyway, don't bother watching the show because it's pretty bad really, and only relies on cheap sound scares and flashes of scary faces (or so they think) that don't quite do the trick.

so, about the presents that i'm very excited about. presenting, the package of stuff from angel, ale, chris, chin, km, max, rach, xuefang, yimean, bw, huiyi, dawn, huiling and moses. (yep, that's regional integration for you alright!)



clockwise from left, we have a set of goodbye kitty magnets, which are sort of like suicide bunnies except they're kitties. they're kind of cute in a rather sadistic way, you know. and then we have an amazing set of bleach swords complete with ichigo's hollow mask. my heart really skipped a beat when i saw this. i'm being really honest here. haha then we have the birthday messages plus a little handphone chain thing (that i really love, by the way, and am definitely going to hang on my phone when i get a new one sooooooon). and then there're like, SEVEN volumes of bleach manga from 16 to 22! yep, i don't think i'll be studying physics anytime soon really...



a close-up of the bleach manga, because i can still hardly believe my eyes that i have them now.



and this is volume 23, which kongmeng gave me about a week earlier -- incidentally, he wins the award for giving me the most presents haha -- making my total collection of 8 volumes. it won't take me too long now, to get the whole set! thank you guys for starting me off!



and this!! haha it's a very, very, VERY pretty watch that sam, rab, wynne, km, chin, amos, py and charles got for me before the prelims as an early birthday gift. it's gorgeous! and they were very sneaky about it too, buying it the day we went to get mr fazli's staff day gift. i'm not usually a watch person, so my wearing it around so much is proof that i really like it a lot!



and this is the wonderfully huge card they made for me too. i'm still perplexed as to how in the world they managed to source out so many pictures of me. haha.



okay, i made these extra small because they're really embarassing, but very cute! haha i really burst out laughing when i saw them. these were included in the bunch of presents i got today. ahhhh they're so randomly amusing.

thank you to everyone who contributed in any way to the presents, who sang me a birthday song, who wished me happy birthday, and who made me really feel happy this whole time. honestly, saying a lifetime of thanks won't be enough to convey my appreciation. all i can say is thanks though. haha i think i shouldn't plan birthday celebrations anymore. you guys plan so much better ones!!

speaking of which, i think i'm really too trusting for my own good. for both surprise birthday celebrations, i was tricked into thinking we were going to have a study outing (for the sam-organised one) and a physics discussion (for the yimean-organised one). pfffft. okay, i'm older now and won't be so easily fooled! heh heh.

ah, i have so many things i really want to say to each and everyone of you. thank you for being a part of my life, for being a friend, for putting up with my many flaws, for letting me rely on you, for just letting me know you would be there for me when i needed you, and when i did for being there. the list could continue on forever. you guys have all been wonderful friends to me, and i really appreciate all of you for being here. i'm saying thank you so many times it seems almost meaningless already, but for want of better words, thank you all so much.

like i was telling yimean, when i got onto my mum's car i never stopped grinning as i read message after message. and although i didn't cry when i was opening the presents i honestly teared when i was reading all the messages. it felt so warm and fuzzy reading the messages, sort of like the feeling you get when you hug a teddy bear to sleep. and then the random pictures at the back just made me start giggling so hard my mum started asking if i was mad. haha.

and that time when sam and the rest gave me my presents, i felt really touched as well. the fact that they bothered to set aside time amidst their studying for prelims to come together and make the card and sing a song for me was really enough to make me cry. i guess i just really don't like crying in front of people haha. usually it's only afterwards that i start feeling all i'm-so-touched-i'm-going-to-cry.

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growing one year older doesn't seem to have changed me at all at the moment though. haha. but this one year has been a very trying one. i don't know if all that took place in this one year was for good or for bad, but i know i certainly wouldn't be where i stand now if i hadn't met even one of these people. with people things are always changing, i guess. sometimes no matter how hard you try, you can't keep things the way they are. maybe it's me more than others, but it's hard for me to simply ignore or disregard everything despite all my trying to. it's probably just me being awfully selfish and cowardly, because i refuse to make myself open to disappointment or hurt any longer. haha. i guess that's one bit of me that i ought to change, huh.

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alright, i should go and sleep now, even though i've got no papers tomorrow and have the luxury of sleeping in. those of you who have papers tomorrow, all the best for them! ^^

man. i'm already in such a holiday mood i can hardly bring myself to sit down and study for long. even though i'm fully aware of the fact that i still have 4 papers next week, and i desperately need to do well for lit paper 4 to make up for the dismal thing that was my paper 1. and there's math, which is mostly stats and which i really should go study for because i haven't done stats for about a week and a half already, and you know how things like stats become so foreign once you don't read/do them for few days.

one of the things i told myself i'd do for the whole of this year was to try my hardest in every single thing i embarked on, but that's a surprisingly hard resolution to keep. sometimes, even when you know that so much is at stake and how important doing something right is, it's just really hard to follow through all the way and make sure you have no regrets at the end of it, or doubts that you could have done better but didn't because you were lazy.

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i'm going to tie myself to my chair if i have to.

happy mid-autumn festival, everyone.

i think my mum is very brave. i'm crossing my fingers.